Steam City
| Steam City | |
|---|---|
| |
| "The Most Fucked Up Shit I Ever Seen" - Random blind nigga, once upon a time. | |
| Type | Megalopolis Internet City |
| Leader(s) | Mayor of Steam City, SCGN (as of 2024, previously VALVE) |
| Location | Steam City Land Area Region, Earth |
| Population | 777 Jeffyillion (as of now) |
| Size | 510.1 million km² (area, largest city on Earth) |
| Crime Rate | 4657.27 (1st in the world) |
| Founded | 1299 AD |
| Currency | Steam Points (Digital currency used by goyim/regular citizens) Steamhappy's (Defacto currency invented and used by criminals that isn't controlled by ZOG) |
| GDP | $18666654324 Qualan Drilon Dollars (Steamhappy's) |
Maybe the real Steam City was the friends we made along the way. ~ Dagoth Ur, January 1st 2024.
Steam City was truly one of the arcs of all time.
The Lore[edit | edit source]
A blind coloured man's reaction to Steam City.
Steam City is best known as the most fucked up place to ever exist, although this article refers to both the concept of the Steam community website's community of racists, trolls, faggots, pedophiles, autists and schizos along with the Internet City megalopolis ruled by various corrupt megacorporations and criminal organizations that overrun the city. Steam City is generally known for having the highest crime rate in the world (4657.27), according to the global crime index, next to Discord City at 2567.44 and Caracas, Venezuela at 83.94, making it the most dangerous city on Earth. It is considered a highly technologically advanced dystopian megacity powered by Autism & Schizophrenia. The city, located in the Steam City Land Area (whose location is pretty much unknown) is known be a city-state that doesn't appear to be directly ruled by any existing country on Earth, although it's cultural influence primarily stems from a wide mix of ZOG and CCP influence due to how both the Jews and the Chinks rule the city in various aspects (such as directly and indirectly controlling the various districts, etc.) in a silent rivalry. The city was founded, architecturally designed and built by the VALVE Megacorporation in 1299 AD.
The city is made up of municipalities that are home to many districts and landmarks.
The corporations and criminal organizations that preside and terrorize the streets all seek to achieve complete dominance over the city and their respective fields, which has only resulted in everlasting war, chaos and civil unrest that is prevalent within Steam City. The city is also home to a wide variety of people, races and creatures, each with their own endeavours, backgrounds, and motivations. Many within the city seek and are motivated by a desire for immense power, while most simply attempt to survive in the most fucked up place on the face of the planet.
Steam City's citizens are defined by a caste system. The most successful players in the Steam City realm are those who are able to produce and manifest mass amounts of Autism and Schizophrenia in several fields of knowledge such as: being funny, Trolling and Scullymogging, although some resort to Larping which can either be used to make you become a complete loser or a god tier troll. Many bottomfeeders attempt to succeed in the city by seeking contrived niche internet fame by commenting on random profiles for 14 hours a day (only receiving maybe 2 comments back), which misguidedly makes them believe themselves to be successful in this field.
Since 2024, the SCGN have taken the mayoral throne of the city after rigging the 2024 Steam City Election. Beforehand, VALVE has directly ruled the city under the corrupt, Talmudic ruling and influence of Gaben Newell.
The prior to 2024 acting governmental body of the city (VALVE, a Jewish owned corporation) has established an infrastructure (they like to call it Democracy) within the city over the course of centuries in which the ordinary people (some refer to them as bottomfeeders & larpers) are fed on a cheap diet of estrogen & atrazine contaminated food/liquid, grasshoppers and soybeans (goyslop) and are individually housed in coffin-sized sleeping pods (VALVE Pods) which they can rent but cannot buy, effectively turning them into a population of feminized homeless gimps who are incapable of rebellion, they are also forced into taking doses of vaccines that effectively give them terminal illness solely to control the population, and all children born within the city are legally required to have sex changes at birth because Moloch commands it. All who disobey the law are taken from their pods while sleeping and are turned into fertilizer, and to add insult to injury, have their Steam account's community banned. All citizens are required to have a computer chip surgically inserted into their brain in order to have remote access to the cities network (Steam) which registers them to a social credit system that monitors their thoughts and actions at every waking (and sleeping) moment.
Adjacent to Steam City, following a stretch occupied by the Great Vulva Highway, to the east, across the wasteland of Cold Island lies Epic Games City, a relatively small metropolitan that is considerably heaven compared to this city. To the west following the death-ridden, eroded and nuclear sludge infested badlands lies Discord City, a lawless metropolis filled to the brim with the worst forms of life imaginable.
Living[edit | edit source]
Most residents of the city reside in VALVE Megabuildings which feature VALVE Pods that people sleep in for only 30 minutes a day, the rest of the 23 hours they're spent working in a Wage Cage for $0.50 USD a month, though, statistically, the average rent in the city usually costs significantly more than that by a margin, and most end up homeless due to being in excessive debt and then die of natural selection.
In order to survive within the city, many carry "defence tools" which are basically just firearms. Despite firearms being completely outlawed, many are able to find throwaways in dumpsters or underground markets (see: Community Market).
Government and Politics[edit | edit source]
Steam City is officially recognized as a democratic mayoralty (West ZOG) with a corporate-controlled city council. Mayoral elections are often rigged, though citizens are psyoped into believing that dead people voting for Gaben Newell for the majority of the elections over the course of hundreds of years is normal.
The 4 leading powers that be within the city are universally recognized to be the groups of the SCGN, DEUS, VALVE and the Degen Pedophile Ring whom of course have zero interest in mind for the common citizen and are more interested in inheriting the city for themselves. There are also shadow organizations controlling various aspects of the city such as The 1% Corporation, SCREAM SQUAD (allegedly), and the Walmart Tribe. These leading powers, while not all are allied, occasionally cooperate with each other in order to not initiate a total nigger death/nuclear war.
Geography[edit | edit source]
Architecture[edit | edit source]
Much of Steam City's architecture is inspired by brutalism and modernism with some postmodernist buildings. Many buildings feature suicide nets to prevent people from having any hope of escaping the urban hellscape, and many seats/objects in the street feature anti-homeless architectural designs.
Climate[edit | edit source]
It's been told that weather altering machines are used to cause various seemingly impossible natural disasters within the city. The temperature is generally controlled as well as seasons tend to be non-existent. Much of the city is shrouded in an ample amount of polluted smog-filled skies and acid rain which will burn through your fucking skin and can lead to fatality if one is not protected. It's advised that many wear protective clothing and filter masks as well. Plants are essentially non-existent in the city, the only nature reserve that exists is known as the Greaselands, which is a reserve occupied by Gustavolands' government, home to Aboriginals, grease, and toxic sludge, although there are some plants that remain.
In certain areas, such as Gustavolands and the Greaselands, there exists Poop Smog which is fatberg created pollution from the Steam City Sewers.
Infrastructure[edit | edit source]
Transportation[edit | edit source]
Steam City hosts an extensive network of urban freeways and rapid transit networks. Many common citizens aren't allowed to leave the district they reside in due to totalitarian safety measures. Some areas of the city are cut off the main road network due to safety and propaganda reasons also.
Airports[edit | edit source]
The Gaben Newell Intercontinental Airport and the Steam City International Airport are the two main airfields operating in Steam City. Both are located in the Central Steam City Area, near the Steam City Port.
Law Enforcement[edit | edit source]
The Steam Moderation Team, prior to 2024, held jurisdiction over domestic security in Steam City, although some districts, considered to be classed as autonomous regions, have no presence of the S.M.T. at all as they operate under their own set of laws and have their own law enforcement.
Economy[edit | edit source]
The economic sectors of Steam City include manufacturing industries, international trade and commerce, information services, electronic technologies, security services, and so on. Many large corporations and megacorporations are known to have sway over the cities economy.
Leading Corporate Powers[edit | edit source]
VALVE Partnership[edit | edit source]
Toxic Coffee Corporate Partnership[edit | edit source]
CCP Controlled Corporations[edit | edit source]
Unaligned Corporations[edit | edit source]
Brief History[edit | edit source]
Since there is an unfathomably deep history regarding Steam City, only relatively important periods of history will be noted. (See: Modern Steam City Era for the entire history.)
Founding[edit | edit source]
1299 AD
After the Second Gnomistan Nuclear Holocaust had officially concluded in 1299 AD, thus ending the Gnome Era and beginning the Modern Steam City Era, Valve had returned to the nuclear annihilated Gnomistan (previously Valve City) and rebuilt what was once theirs over a thousand years prior. The first area of Steam City that had been constructed was the central area. Gustavolands and Walmart Island's active governments had rebuilt on their own accord and subsequently became districts of Steam City following an agreement. Gustavolands became Steam City's largest industrial area and the designated "Grease District" and Lord Ursus The Walmart Guardian was piss drunk when he came to an agreement with Valve. The goal of Steam City was that it was to be exactly the near identical ascended love child of Valve City except with a far more totalitarian rule and anti goyim bias. To achieve such things, they used democratic propaganda on the citizens and convinced them to live in VALVE Pods and eat Goyslop by use of psyops.
Golden Criminal Period[edit | edit source]
2016 - January 2022
The Golden Criminal Period was a short lived but powerful fever dream period where the troll clans and various anti-ZOG criminal organizations were an unstoppable force that reigned and sought to gain full control and dominance over the city. During this time, Steam City was often referred to as a land of no laws, nobody was being banned as reporting one another was seen as a genocidal war crime of great evil, so there was an unspoken strict rule amongst all criminals to not report anyone or anything no matter what. This period saw nothing but wars, death, and misery, for ordinary citizens. Although for criminals, racists/homophobes, shitposters and trolls, it was a time to be alive. This era is suggested to have began in 2016 due to the influence of the most racist man alive, EMPEROR TRUMP. From 2016 - 2019, Steam wasn't a dead wasteland, two mass shooters by the names of Eldigato (2016 Munich Shooter) and William Atchison were active during this time before they got ACK'd, the two powerful retards Putt and Doffy built a powerful empire and Russian Pirate was essentially seen as the shitposting prophet of this time. Around 2020, The 50% was formed after Zokh and Greasy Gus rampaged through the lands. DEUS and the Putt Gang had also reigned during this time as well as smaller factions. Many wars and important events happened during 2020 - 2022, The most notable ones were: the reign and assassination of Lei Feng, the 50%-Putt Conflict, 50%-A.T.F. Conflict, Gaybania-Big Locker Bullies War, BNWO War and the deadliest war since North Park War II, the Grease Wars. This period ended when Zokh was believed to have been assassinated which began a series of many assassinations, the Great Purge Of Steam City.
Bottomfeeder Apocalypse[edit | edit source]
July 2022 - February 2023
During Great Purge, and the death of many once dominating criminal empires, migrating from Reddit City and 4Chan City, a type of lower beings referred to as bottomfeeders, goyim, or bug people, had invaded and turned the city into a dead wasteland of dysgenic goyslop thanks to the antics of Karma, a kike. These individuals were able to flourish and scurry about because due to any attempt they ever had beforehand, would've led them to being virtually raped and trolled, scaring them off. The civil war between Mars and Spamton was the only interesting thing that this period ever bought. Jiao Bai Jing Industries' Steam City branch was founded around this time as well. This period ended with the Irrelevant Larper Purge Of 2023.
SCGN Renaissance Period[edit | edit source]
February 2023 - January 1st, 2024
The SCGN, now officially taking the mayoral throne of the city, began a period of enlightenment where they would attempt to redeem the city back to an era close to the Golden Criminal Period, although not quite due to the lack of actual conflict and competition. They primarily made lovely artworks, groups, shitposts, etc. They even recruited many lost schizo's, autists and trolls along the way, forming a group of indestructible manpower. They've compared themselves to the Mongol Empire in this regard.
2024, The Second Steam City Corporate War & The Second Societal Collapse Of Steam City[edit | edit source]
2024 - 2035
2024, upon Toxic Coffee's (untampered) victory in the 2024 Steam City Election, followed a massive nuclear holocaust after he nuked the entire city for literally no reason. This entire period was planned and orchestrated in full by the SCGN as they moved to the Steam City Badlands to hide out until 2025, to take back physical control of the city. The bottomfeeders began to reign again with no one stopping them, although without any racists or anti-fags, anti-pedos to bully them, they sought to fighting and eating each other, forming cannibalistic tribes. The primary reason for this period was because the SCGN wished to expand beyond Steam City, seeming as they had achieved their goal of taking the city in no less than 3 years. Coffee's reign of this city lasted until 2027 after he left the city to run a cobalt child slave mine in Uganda. In 2027, Robert Ford took the throne and declared war on VALVE, thus initiating the Second Steam City Corporate War and subsequently causing the Second Societal Collapse Of Steam City in 2031, ending in 2034 after Greasy Gus had killed Gaben Newell and Robert.
Destruction of Steam City: The Great Steam City Invasion of 2035[edit | edit source]
December 2035
In 2035, during Greasy Gus' unelected mayoral rule on Steam City, 3 absolutely powerful fucking beast specimens of mankind had invaded the city. The invaders: Bubba Hodunk, OBTWill, and King Ass Ripper, had entered the city by brute force and had taken down millions of buildings per second. Gus of course didn't like that his property was being destroyed by a bunch of fucking cracka ass niggers, so he fought them in a brutal battle throughout the entire month of December of 2035. Gus of course was much weaker than all 3 of them combined, so he was temporarily defeated in a massive greasy nuclear fart vomit schlop augh explosion that destroyed the entirety of the city, causing it to become a post apocalyptic wasteland stuck in a mad max like state. Gus, upon being defeated, had crash landed into an area of Walmart Island that formed a giant crater that would later be known as the Shit Pit where he stayed unconscious until 2098 only to reform the empire of Gustavolands in Fatberg City.
Ireland Vs Armenia War[edit | edit source]
2035 - 2039
During the years of 2035 - 2039 in Steam City, also known as the Ireland Vs Armenia Era, every resident of Steam City fought in the very meaningful war between Ireland and Armenia. There were 2 rulers of the city at this time: Big Man and Finn. After an argument on the Steam Community Hub about who should take rule of the city, they had split in to 2 sides, the sides of Ireland, led by Big Man and Armenia, led by Finn. Armenia had West Steam City, Steam City Islands and East Steam City under their rule during the entire war. Ireland had Southern Steam City, Northern Steam City and Central Steam City. The war was absolutely brutal, lasting about 4 years until ending due to the Independent Black Women Uprising in 2039. Leshawna had single handedly ended the entire war and took over the city.
Independent Black Women Era[edit | edit source]
2039 - 2095
During the years of 2039 - 2095, the entirety of Steam City was a wasteland inhabited by a STRONG AND INDEPENDENT NO MAN NEEDED race known as Independent Black Women. The women had single handedly killed every single white male on Earth. In 2050, the Fatberg Growth Event had began, the Sentient Fatbergs of the Steam City Sewers had began to move, birthing a new race known as Fatbergians. They eventually broke out of the sewers in 2074 and declared war on the Independent Black Women in a truly devastating and destructive war known as the Fatberg-Independent Black Women War. In 2095, the entire race of Independent Black Women had fallen in to extinction, and the Fatberg Creatures had consumed the entire Earth. The Steam City Land Area became the capital of Earth due to its significance and was subsequently declared as Fatberg City.