Adelaide
Adelaide is the capital city of South Australia, a state nobody has ever thought about in the entirety of Australia's 5 year long history. Adelaide has a dark history of being one of the most estranged places in Australia, while also being one of the most boring places on planet fucking Earth, like who the fuck would willingly live here? Adelaide is in fact a city entirely populated by Skyrim NPC's, the city itself is an artificial backdrop built to hide the true labyrinth of underground tunnels built by a civilization of mole people who worship the evil daedric god/defacto ruler of the entire state of South Australia known as the Mighty Pigeon Overlord.
Adelaide is most known for being both the murder capital of Australia, and the meth capital of the entire world, right next to Seattle, which is notoriously ridden with actual drug addicted zombies on every street corner. If some random unknown city in Australia is able to top a shithole like Seattle, this should give you an idea of how fucked up and evil this place actually is. Adelaide is considered to be the murder capital due to its array of serial killers per capita. In spite of this, the city wasn't even founded by convicts at all, but by German fucking aryans.
Landmarks[edit | edit source]
Adelaide is home to classic landmarks like: the Mall Balls, statues of some pigs eating out of a bin, coloured logs in a random park, a big statue of a rock lobster named larry the lobster, a random fucking tipped over truck on a highway somewhere, a footpath on a residential street where someone wrote "WITE POWER 1488 HAIL HITLER" when the concrete was wet, and most importantly: the great statue of the MIGHTY PIGEON OVERLORD.
Culture & People[edit | edit source]
This is basically the entire culture of Adelaide in one video.
This is the typical resident of Adelaide.
History[edit | edit source]
Adelaide was founded by the Adelaide Mole People approximately 41,593 years ago after they were banished from the Babylonian-Atlantis Talmudic Empire in an unnamed province where Perth is situated today after Jews kicked them out 109 times prior. The Mole People traversed the Australian continent, led by prophet Bog Log V, they arrived to the chosen land only to see Abo's inhabiting a termite built city featuring the shell of a tasmanian giant crab that was used to house the Abo's. They convinced the Abo's to war with the termites because those filthy fucking termwite cunts stole their land. This resulted in the Termite-Abo War, involving nuclear weapons which destroyed all the nature in South Australia, which is why it's entirely an outback shithole. The termites lost and retreated to the caves of Coober Pedy, where they evolved into White People that are nicknamed "Coober Pedophiles" and they still live in the caves to this day. They kicked out the Abo's by inventing an organization known as "Raptor Squad" that put them in Jail for approximately 25 minutes, but the Abo's couldn't find their way back to Adelaide and those wandering Abo's became The Pintupi Nine.
Here is a voice recording of one of the Aboriginal Warchief Wizards from the Termite-Abo War, who is still alive today to describe what he saw during the war:
The Mole People destroyed all remnants of the termite city and built an immense labyrinth of tunnels underground doing god knows what. In 5493 BC, all the Mole People had reoccurring DMT visions of a great pigeon deity who would convince them that he created their race and they must obey his every command. The Pigeon stood at where Hindley Street is now (for those not in the know, that's the worst street in the city) and commanded the mole people to build the most fucking boring and soulless city in the entire land, in order to coverup the mole city underneath from future foreign invaders. The Pigeon taught them how to build the soulless modern western architecture and told them to build various shrines, the first being the Pigeon statue, then the Mall Balls, and the Rundle Mall Pigs. Before the Germans arrived to settle in the city, pilgrims would often venture to the surface to pay homage to these shrines, by drinking wine and spitting it out at the statue as a way of worshipping the mighty pigeon, which is why there's so many fucking wine gardens in South Australia, they're all ancient.
After all of this, white settlers came along and scared the mole people into never resurfacing, although some Aboriginal junkie in 1994 had sex with his cousin in the sewers and discovered an opening to the mole society. He told Aboriginal Affairs and Centrelink about this and a local emergency was declared to rid the Mole people from the depths of the city. Although many say that the Pigeon overlord statue came to life and started murdering children in Kuitpo Forest, which scared the local Adelaideans into submission. This story has been "debunked" by the Adelaide council as a mere bad estrogen trip from some guy named Old Mate Darryl, and his mate Old Mate Dale.
After this event, it's believed all humans with a soul were killed and the only residents are non sentient bug people who mumble to themselves and are scared of chairs at the airport.
The Great Pigeon Massacre Of 2024[edit | edit source]
In October of 2024, the only sentient man in all of the city, a local heretic dubbed as the "Pigeon Culler" grabbed out his sniper rifle right outside a playground and started massacring pigeons to protest the Pigeon Overlord cult worship, similar to Martin Luther nailing his 95 Theses to the church.
Further Adelaide Lore[edit | edit source]
Why would anyone want to live in Adelaide?[edit | edit source]
Good thing about Adelaide is that it's 100% white, 0.1% Aboriginal, and 2 wogs, but that will change in about 5 years. Other than that, I see zero reason to even step foot in this fucking shithole. Fucking nuke Adelaide.