Cold Island
Cold Island | |
---|---|
Location | Between Steam City and Epic Games City. |
Occupants | |
People | Coldislandians (formerly)
Houndians (formerly) Marianokin (formerly) |
Known Civilizations | Coldislandian Civilization (formerly)
Houndia (formerly) Second Marianokin Empire (formerly) |
Cold Island is a landmass located between Steam City and Epic Games City, it's commonly known for being the stretch between the two cities due to the Great Vulva Highway that spans across the land. Cold Island, despite the name, is not actually an island, whoever named it has absperngers I would imagine. Cold Island was once inhabited by the now extinct civilizations known as Houndia and the Coldislandian Civilization. Cold Island nowadays is inhabited by the Cold Island Yeti that is a menace to drivers on the Great Vulva Highway and the Cold Island Creature that inhabits the south part of the land.
Formation[edit | edit source]
Cold Island's land was formed during the Great Sludgian-Garf Seperation in 67,689,222,001 BC after the Randilian Sludgekin warriors had physically separated the land from the Garfeet Rainforest. The land eventually collided with a land strip east of the Steam City Land Area and remained there. The Sludgekin were killed in the moving process, nobody inhabited the land until the Coldislandians were born in 140,000,000 BC. Before the seperation event, Cold Island's land area was a province of Garfeet known as Lasagnalandia, inhabited by the Pre-Garfs and the Randilian Sludgekin before the event.
Ice Ages & Unfrozen Stages[edit | edit source]
Cold Island wasn't always cold, the First Cold Island Ice Age (139,452,192 BC - 120,549,802 BC) had caused the island to go cold because Fat Randal accidentally sneezed. The Second Cold Island Ice Age (99,410,999 BC - 99,409,004 BC) was caused by Mossad which almost killed half of the entire race of Coldislandians. The Third Cold Island Ice Age (88,148,881 BC - Ongoing) had occurred after Super Saiyan Mariano had died, Cold Island still remains in a frozen state and always will. During the land's unfrozen stages, historical findings suggest that the land was filled with fatberg pollution from Gustavolands with a mix of orange lasagna rainforests.
The Coldislandians & Their Extinction Event[edit | edit source]
The race of Coldislandians were born in Cold Island and had formed their once highly advanced civilization. Not a lot is known about them due to how ancient they are, but what is known is the cities they built and that they worshipped Adolf Hitler for a few million years, and then a rock, then they were nuked by DMX by orders of Mossad in 99,408,901 BC during the Coldislandian Nuclear War.
Houndia[edit | edit source]
The society of Houndia was founded by DMX in 99,408,889 BC after the nuclear war had ended. He had formed an empire known as the Ruff Ryders Empire (National Anthem: Year of the Dog... Again) which was the third largest on Earth at the time, eventually collapsing after a few hundred years, splitting in to two empires. While the society was short lived compared to the Coldislandian Civilization, it underwent a brutal history of war and suffering all orchestrated by DMX and indirectly Mossad. The [Houndians]] were the people of Houndia, they were created by DMX himself to serve as a bottomfeeder race that would eventually be trained to kill the Martian Jews. When the Jews had found out about this plan, they had distracted the Houndians by getting them to fight in meaningless wars such as the East Coast-West Coast War, started by Tony in Swastika City and other wars. The Jews eventually had developed the technology to build nukes, they subsequently nuked the entire society in 99,404,842 BC and had killed DMX before he could properly convince the Houndians that the Jews were evil.
Marianokin Occupation[edit | edit source]
During the Marianokin New World Order, specifically in 91,246,946 BC after 8 million years of nothing but nuclear sludge on the island and all remnants of the former Houndian civilization dissolving into nothing, Super Saiyan Mariano had sent Marianokin settlers to occupy the land, officially becoming a territory of the Second Marianokin Empire, although it was primarily used to store Super Saiyan Mariano's gym equipment and creating a nether portal (but with glowstone and water) to Inner Earth. Once the Niuean-Marianokin World War began, most of the war took place in Cold Island, and after Super Saiyan Mariano killed himself in 88,148,881 BC, the land became abandoned yet again.
Valve-Epic Games Occupation[edit | edit source]
While VALVE as well as Epic Games technically don't have jurisdiction over the land nor does anyone (think of Bir Tawil), they were responsible for building the Great Vulva Highway, it took them 5000 years to build it (7835 BC - 3835 BC).