VALVE
| VULVA | |
|---|---|
| |
| Type | Jewish owned Megacorporation |
| Founded | 9742 BC |
| Headquarters | Corporation District, Central Steam City, Steam City (1299 AD - 2034)
VALVE City (8245 BC - 975 BC) |
| CEO | Gaben Newell |
| Subsidiaries | Steam Moderation Team
1984 Enterprises Da Goyslop Inc VALVE Technologies |
| Enemies | The 1% Corporation |
VALVE (secretly known as VULVA) is formerly the largest and most powerful megacorporation to operate in Steam City, first originating as far back as 8245 BC. The megacorp is run by CEO Gaben Newell, a demonic fucking Jew who has consecutively ruled the city and VALVE City for thousands of years under corrupt talmudic ruling. Thanks to the VALVE Corp, Steam City is currently one of the most fucked up places on Earth. The corp is religiously worshipped by the goyim who donate their wallets to the corp every Steam sale for games that will collect dust in their library.
History[edit | edit source]
After the Great Hwan Empire split in to multiple independent nations, a super Jew mastermind known as Gaben Newell had plotted to steal the near entire supply of Autism by convincing the Great Hwan Empire to enact war on the existing independent states which led to the Finno-Korean Hyperwar lasting from 8245 BC to 6172 BC. During the course of the war and the destruction of the existing nations, VALVE was formed (although some traces of their existence date back to 9742 BC) and they slowly took the entire supply and used it to technologically advance VALVE City (the first internet city) tens of thousands of years in to the future, having trading the physical Autism to Lizard People who had the tech in their possession.
Before this was plotted out, VALVE initially began as a small tribe of wandering jewish merchants led by Gaben. They settled in the Steam City Land Area, the location of the city of New Timbuktu at the time, and they declared war on the Walmart Tribe upon gaining advanced technology, which was a war known as the New Timbuktu Liberation War. At the end of the war, the tribe quickly retreated to Walmart Island and remained as a semi-autonomous territory following an agreement that the Walmart Tribe accepted as their current leader, Mohammet was still allowed to rape dead hookers as was his hobby.
Upon the re-established government in New Timbuktu, subsequently renaming the city to VALVE City, VULVA subsequently became a powerful megacorporation that reigned over the city for thousands of years, which was known as the VALVE City Era. During their reign, they created the Steam platform and performed multiple dehumanizing psyops on the goyim peasants that lived there. All was going well until the Gnomes had usurped the entire fucking city during the Gnome Invasion of VALVE City in 986 BC, officially taking the throne at the end of the invasion in 975 AD when VALVE had left without a trace. Their whereabouts from then on were unknown, although it's believed they were operating entirely from the shadows. Orchestrating the downfall of the Gnomes for centuries, until returning in 1299 AD upon the conclusion of the Second Gnomistan Nuclear Holocaust to build Steam City, thus beginning the Modern Steam City Era. From then on, they formed the most corrupt police force known to man, the Steam Moderation Team. During the Golden Criminal Period, VALVE had fought in several wars with many rogue Troll Clans, a notable war being the Gang Alcohol-VALVE War and their conflict with The 50%.
After the Irrelevant Larper Purge Of 2023, VALVE essentially began their downfall as a once feared and menacing megacorporation, all because Gaben is old and fucking fat and will pretty much be dead soon as adrenochromes have a limit, and because the S.M.T essentially gave up with trying to ban people. The corp fought The 1% Corporation in the Second Corporation War for complete rule of the city after Toxic Coffee Corporations ended their rule. On October 29th, 2034, VALVE had disbanded because Greasy Gus fucking killed Gaben in his hideout in New Zogland, and took rule of Steam City for himself.