Toxic Coffee

Toxic Coffee

OMG he is Literally me
Location	Dubai, North Africa
Race	Berber
Religion	Gooning
Power level
Class	Upper-middle class
Hard-r?	Only online
Watch	Citizen
Likes and Dislikes
Likes	Feet, Money, Gooning
Dislikes	Country larpers, Eddmnd

Toxic Coffee, also known as Genesis, or The Prince of Madness, is 🗣️ THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING, except it has stopped approaching; it has arrived (long ago). Bound by a schizophrenic, ever-changing code of honor, Toxic Coffee games hard by day (he is rich and doesn't have to work), and roams the streets of the filthy Steam City by night (he doesn't sleep (he goons all night)). Founder of the massively influential Toxic Coffee Corporations, he prevents Steam City from falling into the hands of Chinese investors such as JBJ Industries Ltd. He also has a very deep and slow Spanish accent which sounds nice whenever he tells me to kill myself.

A brief massage from Bobby[edit | edit source]

20:49, 16 March 2024 . . 77.214.x.x (talk | block) 201 bytes (one two three) Tag: Visual edit Hello my name is Bobby, my name is not important but my name is Bobby, iam the yurs cure if you want the neet. this is the Beginning chapter of Toxic Coffee... type in 1 ... and the story begins

Controversies[edit | edit source]

Subversion of the Unicode standard[edit | edit source]

Toxic Coffee is known for creating the Speaking Head emoji 🗣️, which was officially added to the extended Unicode character set in late 2022. Allegations of Toxic Coffee's goons threatening the board of Unicode have been proven false in court (the court of Steam City, that is). Sightings of dawg punishing have been circumstantially linked to the Toxic Coffee Corp, but the court declared 'shut up nigger', and prosecuted JBJ Industries Ltd instead (they were guilty). Coffee officially joined the board of Unicode in early 2023, where he created emoji's such as :pregnant_man_tone5:, and :woman_beard:. He also added Eddmnd (:bearded_man:) as an emoji to Discord City, even though :man_with_beard: already existed, as part of a peace treaty whereby Toxic Coffee Corp would stop genociding women within their city.

Block jitsu[edit | edit source]

Blocku jitsu in actionu

Toxic Coffee created (and patented) the martial art of Block Jitsu as a way to 'defend' himself from road hogs. Second only on the CTLI (Criminal Tier-list Indicator) to Gabe Newell Xerself, Toxic Coffee poses a devastating threat to anybody who crosses him.

Emoji usery[edit | edit source]

Creativity off the charts.

Upon seeing these emojis, one is indebted 100 steam points (per eye, per second looked) to Toxic Coffee's Steam profile (one-eyed people count as having looked with two (blind people not exempt)).

:pregnant_man_tone5: was a smash hit, as it represented the minority (now a majority under 20) that is the shit-skinned pregnant man carrying the Talmudic anti-Prophets that the CEO (jews) placed into them, 1984 style.

:woman_beard: was less successful, resulting in a net loss of 1,408,869 :steamhappy:s over a two year period. Official statements from shareholders cited research that showed over 99.9 recurring % of trannies were men trying to be women, not the other way around. :bearded_person: was not an investment, but a statement.

The :steamhappy: scandal[edit | edit source]

They're holding hands :)

:steamhappy:s are the de facto currency of criminals in Steam City, often used to avoid the 80% VAT imposed by the Steam Community Market. Toxic Coffee began printing :steamhappy:s, and became the richest man in the world, shortly before crashing the economy with no survivors. This left the currency worthless, and led to the introduction of Steam points, which can't be printed (yet), but can be farmed by shilling or posting cool stuff on the Steam Community (it is a social credit system).

Quotes[edit | edit source]

✨ I's an evil world we live in ✨
🗣️ I WOKE UP IN A NEW BUGATTI❗❗❗❗❗❗
Can’t have shit in Steam City
That's the most fucked-up shit I've seen
丂ㄒㄩ卩丨ᗪ 几丨ᎶᎶ乇尺
⚠️ This user has been flagged as a menace to society
Maybe the real Steam City is the friends we made along the way
This message is only available for Steam VIP™ members
𝕨𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕦𝕡 𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕘𝕒 ? 🐧 🎀 𝒶𝒹𝒹 𝓂𝑒 ☯𝓃 𝓈𝓉𝑒𝒶𝓂 🎀 🐧

Early Life[edit | edit source]

Not Jewish.

The first Toxic Coffee[edit | edit source]

The first Toxic Coffee was created by Francis Friday to rival Super Saiyan Mariano at a later point in time although Super Saiyan Mariano had died in order to turn Cold Island permanently cold. Toxic Coffee was actually born as a result of that thus meaning he was born in 88,148,881 BC, although as a result of the death and the near extinction of the Mariano family, Francis had limited Coffee's power and ever since then he was just a gigachad spaniard. Toxic Coffee once met Putt's sloadish ancestors in 970,258 BC and they rivalled him in a "voice off" and the sloads had killed Coffee because their voices were too 🔥 A L P H A 🔥 and they listened to Ander Tate's advice and Sneaker's advice.

The second Toxic Coffee[edit | edit source]

In Hell Hell Hell Plus One, Toxic Coffee had learned to be 🔥 A L P H A 🔥 and he listened to Ander Tater and Jordan B Peterson, he also learned how to punish dawgs correctly after being taught by DMX. Eventually, Coffee became too 🔥 A L P H A 🔥 for Hell Hell Hell Plus One which led him to becoming reborn in 1984 on Earth. He was born in the severely underdeveloped african country known as Spain and he was arrested for the crimes he committed in his past life and his current. In 1987, when questioned about the sloadish voice off battle, he simply replied with "SLOAWHO?" and he was declared guilty but the judge was like "nah." 10 years later, Coffee had met Eric Mariano and they became buddies and Coffee had built a mud hut near Steam City in 1997 to symbolize how 🔥 A L P H A 🔥 he was. Gaben Newell obviously crapped his pants as nothing could be done about Coffee. Toxic Coffee had then committed 87 genocides in Steam City and had later founded Toxic Coffee Corporations in 2010. Afterwards, through the power of just being fucking awesome, discovered he's literally a demigod; an incarnation of Sheogorath himself.

City Life[edit | edit source]

Sixgorillian hours in the past two weeks[edit | edit source]

He games so hard, he breaks space-time.

The construction of outer Steam City[edit | edit source]

Toxic Coffee founded a sub-company to the Toxic Coffee Corp, Toxic Coffee Constructions (TCC). TCC had rivaled with Wong Industries for a prolonged period of time up until 2022 when nuclear war had occurred. Before the nukes, TCC were responsible for the introduction of mains water and toilets in every citizen's home. They built the suburbs (outer Steam City), and filled them with niggers.