Earth

Current map of Earth.

The current situation of the world (very accurate.)

Earth is the centre point planet of the Universe located in the Solar System within the Mortal Plane, which the humanoid beings among many creatures, flora, etc. reside. It's the fucking planet you live on, nigga. Some speculate Earth to actually be a flat fucking disc, except we here at the Larp City archives support the popular notion that it's indeed a massive fucking sphere, except it's hollow and there's land beyond what the goyim are conditioned to believe.

Earth was created in 900,500,000,000 BC by Fat Randal, the Chaos God of putridity, although every god belonging to the Allahverse Pantheon had placed their mark in the creation and formation of Earth today which is a primary reason as to why life on the planet is in an everlasting clusterfuck war between righteousness and sin.

Cosmology[edit | edit source]

The planets of the Solar System all orbit the Earth because we're fucking special ccahnt. There are 3 Suns that exist on Earth that determine the 3 hemispheres and one Moon, although since 2010, NASA has activated an artificial White Sun, situated on Venus.

Geography[edit | edit source]

The goyim that are spiritually unwoken generally believe there to be 7 continents, though this is false as there are 13 continents that currently exist, although the existence of Mu, a continent believed to be located in the North Pacific, is generally unclassified. Many more continents and supercontinents have existed throughout history, such as Zealandia and Kerguelen (now known as the Isle Of Cambalodingus.)

Mysterious land formations have appeared throughout history, an example and most recent would be New Togland, a random land formation that suddenly appeared off the western coast of Alaska during the SCGN-G!S,M. War (and subsequently in the heat of the Tillytog-BillyBog Conflict) in late 2023.

Current Existing Continents (as of Seventh Civilization Era)[edit | edit source]

Lost Continents[edit | edit source]

(See: Lost Landmasses)

Continents (Fatberg Era)[edit | edit source]

Map of Earth during the Fatberg Era.

During the Fatberg Era (2095 AD - 3865 AD), Earth was known to be a wasteland ruled by two integral physical elements known as Fatbergs and Bungholes in a silent rivalry. The Earth's appearance drastically changed as a result of this, forming two supercontinents that occupied the two exact halves of Earth, separated by the Fatberg-Bunghole Canal which was a 2 cm wide river that stripped across the entire Fatberg-Bunghole consumed Earth in a straight line.

Planetary Cycles[edit | edit source]

Planetary Cycles are a phenomenon that occurs that ultimately results in mass global extinction events, such as biblical scale apocalypses. The reason this happens is solely because of an agreement that Allah and Retronium had over 333 octillion years ago to continuously destroy all life on Earth (and presumably other planets) to prevent mortal beings from achieving technological singularity. This agreement took place because of the Uzbeki 6 Year Olds of First Earth who attempted to overthrow the Allahverse Pantheon in a war. It is believed that we are currently in the seventh planetary cycle, or the Seventh Global Civilization, and based on the wordings of Ganashiro The Scourge Of Walmart and Black People On TikTok, two more of these cycles remain, and the Earth will ultimately reach its demise. The 2030 Great Reset is actually a metaphor for how Independent Black Women (Giant fat black women that have been resting deep beneath the Amazon Rainforest) are about to awaken from the depths of the Earth to destroy all human life in an all out war against themselves and white m*n.

The evidence to suggest these cycles happen is based on the fact that remnants of these past global civilizations have been found on Earth, such as the pyramids of Egypt, which prove Black Vikings roamed the Earth and built them like the kangz they wuz.

Essentially what occurs after a planetary cycle, and everyone is fucking dead, there are souls that go to Hell, some go to Jannah, some escape the Doffsara Wheel and some are consensually trapped inside the rings of Saturn forever. Life then rejuvenates on Earth, and the cycle continues.

Antichrist & ANTIPUTT[edit | edit source]

Right before these events occur however, major events lead up to it, such as giving people what is known as the "Mark Of The Beast", which has already happened on Earth as the goyim got the covid vaccine, and EMPEROR TRUMP is enacting as the antichrist. There is also a notable rise in goyim peasants gaining immense amount of forbidden knowledge they shouldn't have, which is why the internet was invented. The opposite to the antichrist, is known as the ANTIPUTT (as it's referred to in our current era, its actual name is the Antitronium), which is a light being entity that seeks to destroy the one true source of evil, with evil (fighting fire with fire), which does nothing. The ANTIPUTT isn't stupid, it's just that The Tronium has forced the ANTIPUTT to be evil in the material world, as a sign of mockery and submission (buckbroken.) The Gorillion is the real ANTIPUTT, but The Gorillion does not intervene and does not try to change the fate of the world for complex reasons, since he's mostly symbolic of a higher divine entity than Retronium. As the metaphysics of the Gabyverse suggest, everything is planned, always. But The Gorillion was not part of the plan.

History[edit | edit source]

The entirety of Earth's history takes place within the Post-Allah Fart Era, there are multiple notable era's that occurred on Earth. The defining of these era's are typically based on the time in which a planetary cycle occurs.

Randillian Lands Era[edit | edit source]

Artists depiction of the Randilian Supercontinent.

The Randilian Lands Era was the dawning era of the second iteration of Earth, beginning with the creation of Earth in 900,500,000,000 BC and the presence of the supercontinent of Randillia where the first of Earth's creatures (Randillian Creatures) reigned such as the Dinosaurs and various other shit. The formation of Gustavolands, Australia (Continent), and the creation of the Oklahoma Panhandle occurred during this time too. The final stages of this era occurred during the Great Fiery Greasy Fatberg Apocalypse The era ended in 899,302,499,499 BC after Alaska's landmass had been formed in order to end the apocalypse.

First Civilization Era[edit | edit source]

899,302,499,499 BC - 768,567,620,501 BC

Fartian

The First Civilization Era was a period of time where superhumans and powerful supernatural races dominated the Earth. Beginning with the Great Randillia Flood which caused the submerging of the entire Randillian supercontinent, and subsequently the formation of Agartha. New creatures emerged on Alaska which happened to be the only inhabited island on the surface at the time, due to surviving the flood. The dominant creatures were known as the Moldy Teethics although their reign of supremacy would be cut short due to the arrival of the first humanoid being on the planet, Greasy Gus. Before Gus's arrival, his mentor, Greasy Noah, had trained him to become the ultimate being, only at the time matched to another being, Super Saiyan Mariano, who would arrive shortly after. The two had met and presumably became allies after realizing and understanding their level of power within the mortal plane. Gus and Super Saiyan Mariano, with their powers, had created the first humanoid race known as the Fartians. The Fartians had exterminated all the Moldy Teethics till extinction in order to gain full dominance over Alaska. Due to having no more rivals, Gus had created North America which is where the Fartians migrated to. A specific group of Fartians had split off from the rest and migrated to the Great Monster Truck Lake (Gulf Of Mexico) where they would eventually become the Proto-Gus Mutants. The original Fartians eventually became extinct due to a massive plague believed to have been perpertrated by Francis Friday. The Proto-Gus Mutants then dominated the North American continent and formed the nation of Greasetanzania where Gus would reveal himself to his creations and would claim the throne for its near entirety.

The Marianokin were later born via. interbreeding with other species left on the Alaskan island, they became an almighty powerful race that were said to have built a civilization that rivalled the Troniums and the Uzbeki 6 Year Olds.

The Marianokin.

The rest of The Americas (South America) were later formed, and the nation of Soulsianolandia had been established. It's believed that during this entire period, the Uzbeki 6 Year Olds had arrived on Earth and established a secretive underground society in Agartha (Second Uzbeki Civilization) and built technology to study the universe and beyond, since they had lost all their previous knowledge and understanding after the destruction of their previous civilization octillions of years ago. They kept themselves hidden from Gus and Super Saiyan Mariano for 48,000 years until Gus discovered an opening to the inner earth and said "OI WHAT THE FUCK CUNT I JUS FUARKN FOUND THE LOST LINK OF WEST AUSTRAYA MAYT HOLY FUARK MAYT POORPPPPPP OIII OIII OIII PRBRBRBRB." Gus took a giant shit on some power plant in one of the underground Agarthan Uzbeki Cities which instigated a war between the Greasetanzanian Society and the Uzbeki's (Uzbeki-Greasian Agartha War). The war ended in a truce between Gus and the leader of the Uzbeki civilization at the time, Sansfungus2009.

Later on, the destruction of Greasetanzania had occurred, merely because Gus had abandoned the society to spend the next 899 Billion years in Noongarrripi to gain infinite knowledge of the Dreamtime.The Proto-Gus Mutants went extinct, although their 'essence' had travelled to Jupiter and remained there until a later point. As a result of this now unclaimed land, the Uzbekis refused to conquer it, leaving it to be conquered by the Marianokin. The Uzbekis reformed Uzbekistan with the intention of being powerful but neutral, an agreement was declared between Sansfungus2009 and Super Saiyan Mariano in order to keep the peace. Two oceans had then been named: the Uzbeki Ocean (nowadays Atlantic Ocean) and the Waterislandian Ocean (nowadays Pacific Ocean)

The continents of Afroeurasia, Atlantis, Lemuria, and Zealandia had been formed by Docy O Og. A notable island, the island of Niue had been created and was situated in the Waterislandian Ocean. Birthing from originally believed to be the Loch Ness Monster, the Spinosaurus's inhabited and conquered the island. A Marianokin explorer named Ten-Sets-Or-Die-Trying had first discovered Niue after rejecting society after being rejected by multiple girls despite his years of Looksmaxxing and the fact that he was a nice guy. An incel with rage, he tamed the Spinosaurus's and became the overlord of the island, and was worshipped as a god. The first people to discover these new landmasses were the Uzbekis, although they only conquered what is now central Asia due to their races significance to the Caspian Sea.

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The society of Soulsianolandia had collapsed and had been reformed as the First Marianokin Empire. The Marianokin had then went on an expedition to conquer the entire Earth except for Niue and Uzbekistan. After multiple Marianokin soldiers arrived on Niue, they were immediately raped and killed by the Spinosaurus's. Ten-Sets rebelled against the Marianokin, leading his army of Spinosaureses, which resulted in a massacre known as the Night Of The Mog.

The Earth had later faced an apocalypse that took place over the course of 100 Billion years (Panhandlan Crisis), that was believed to have happened due to the rise of the Hardmew Cult and their alleged discovery on how to activate the true power of the Oklahoma Panhandle. The apocalypse destroyed the entirety of Earth's civilization, except for surviving Marianokin, Spinosauruses and Uzbeki's that would reemerge in later era's. Super Saiyan Mariano had disappeared suddenly, although he would reemerge in a later era.

Second Civilization Era[edit | edit source]

768,567,620,501 BC - 649,500,000,000 BC

A Mercurian Okhian.

The Second Civilization Era is known as the era of Jupiterian-Mercurian dominance when the alien civilizations that once existed throughout the Solar System conquered the Earth. A lot of history pertaining to this era, including records of leaders, notable individuals, etc. have since been destroyed due to wars and destructive carnage, as a result making this era one of the most mysterious era's in Earth's civilized history. The Era began after the Panhandlan Crisis concluded, leaving a destroyed Earth that eventually rejuvinated over the course of thousands of years. Around the beginning, it's known that a species known as the Iggers had emerged from molten rocks in Agartha and dominated the underworlds. A Type 2 civilized alien race from Mercury known as the Okhians had eventually arrived on Earth on an expedition led by Rokh Blokh after a majority of the Iggers died from an intense solar flare possibly caused by them due to their technological control over the Sun at the time. The Okhians had invented electricity on their home planet, enslaving the Iggers and building technologically advanced cities based around true solar energy, the acquirement of this energy involved physically mining shit from the sun itself. They attempted to conquer the entire Earth until they discovered the re-emerged Uzbeki's. The Uzbeki's and the Okhians made a deal and the Uzbeki's agreed to live on Pluto for a duration after telepathically moving the entire Caspian Sea to the planet. Separate groups of Okhians conquered each existing continent and formed their own nations and societies. Two of these nations, occupying Africa and Zealandia, separated from traditional Okhian norms and declared slavery as bad and suggested that they should achieve singularity and live in harmony. This began a period known as the Francis-Okhian War Period and it's believed that Francis Friday had spiritually revealed himself to these specific Okhian colonies and destroyed their entire society and said "that's what you get for being a fucking stupid nigger" and cursed them, leading them to become a race of anorexic tree demons known as Treeigs that went on to live nothing but a savage tribal existence.

The African Treeigs were exterminated by the Okhians during the Great Cleansing, and the Zealandian Treeigs remained mostly uncontacted due to how they were straight up fucking powerful and evil as shit. After the extermination, all the nations collapsed after Francis Friday had travelled to Earth in a physical form, taking the form of an Okhian. He achieved ultimate power in their society and travelled to Mercury to destroy the entire planet's civilization by initiating the Great Mercurian Civil War. Francis' physical form was then raped and killed by the Okhians after they found him, he begged for forgiveness from Allah after what he had done as symbolized in the TV show he starred in during the Seventh Civilization, Malcolm In The Middle. The Okhian civilization on Mercury was completely eradicated by war and destruction, weakening the Earth colony severely.

The Okhians and their Earth colony remained in tact for a few thousand more years until the Jupiterians invaded in 768,567,615,345 BC during the Jupiterian Invasion. The result of the war caused the Okhians to lose immense power, and the existing Okhian nations eventually dissolved. The weakened Okhians were then captured and enslaved, and then later eradicated in a genocide after they attempted to rebel.

A Jupiterian.

Not much is known about the Jupiterian colony on Earth other than the fact that they invented porn and lived in circular wooden buildings after destroying the technology they used to destroy the Okhians after an occultist named Xenomorph X121 psyoped the population into reverting back to the stone age. They were only on Earth because they were banished from Jupiter for unknown reasons, possibly due to the antics of Xenomorph X121 and his followers. Around this time, the primitive Garfs had emerged on a large island known as Kerguelen that was formed by Garfield. Garfeet (Antarctica) had also been formed too mysteriously after Lemuria had disappeared, thus creating the Indian Ocean. It's worth noting that Antarctica at this time was actually not a frozen cold shit hole, but a Rainforest made of Lasagna. The Garfs had assimilated themselves into tribes on Kerguelen until inventing agriculture and sea travel which led to their discovery of Garfeet, which certain groups chose to inhabit. The Jupiterians and the Garfs didn't make contact until the Garfs discovered the 'new world' after sailing the Indian Ocean and landing in the Indian subcontinent. The Garfs assimilated themselves in to nomadic tribes on the Indian subcontinent, while the Kerguelen Garfs were killed off by some strange disease that infected their assholes. Jupiterians and the Garfs on the Indian subcontinent eventually made contact, although it's relatively unknown what kind of relations they had. It's unknown if they fought or achieved some kind of peace, although some evidence suggests they traded crack cocaine with each other. On Garfeet, the Lasagna Lake was founded and the Garfs built settlements there and ended up eating the entire fucking lake. All the Garfs then died, except for the Garfs inhabiting the Asian continent, and were sent to Eternal Sunday, the holiest of places for the Garfs. Garfield then called upon a Garfic man named Quinton I to lead the entire population of Indian Garfs to the land of Garfeet to piss and shit in the lake of lasagna in order to restore it. Garfic shit and piss is usually yellow, red and orange and made entirely out of Lasagna, hence why this was ordered. The First Kingdom Of Garfeet was then established, Quinton I was deemed as king, thus beginning the Quinton Dynasty and the Jupiterians ransacked the abandoned tribal settlements belonging to the Indian Garfs. The earliest remnants of Garfism (Old Age) began and all were made to worship Garfield or else they'd be raped and killed.

Quinton I of the First Garfic Kingdom.

It's relatively unknown what actually happened after all this took place, although a few thousand years after the First Kingdom was established, the Space Lasagna, according to the Bible Of Garfism, had invaded Earth and killed everyone, and then left. This is generally regarded as the end of the Second Civilization Era.